Computer Illiteracy I...

and a few other random things...

First of all, I want to thank anyone who has been reading here for the past 2 weeks. It really has kept me going on some days, knowing that I had to come up with something positive even when that was the very last thing I wanted to do. I titled this post Computer Illiteracy I because I have tried several times to respond to comments some of you have left, and I can't figure out how to. How dumb am I that I can't even figure out how to respond to posts on my own blog? There's your laugh for the day. If anyone wants to tell me how to do that, I'd appreciate it!

I haven't written over the weekend not because I have nothing to say (I ALWAYS have something to say unfortunately!) but because I've been sick and busy. Well, I shouldn't say sick...just attacked by allergies that seem to be heading towards a sinus infection. Lovely. Saturday, I was miserable and thinking that I would call my doctor on Monday and see if she could call in a prescription for something. And then yesterday, I saw an ad on tv for Nasonex...and had to laugh when the potential side effects were listed at the end: watery eyes, sneezing, headache, sore throat... Ohhh.Kay. What is the point of spending money on something and spraying it up my nose when it has the potential to cause the very same annoying symptoms that I want to get rid of. So...no doctor, I'll just take Benadryl when I'm ready to crash for the night.

I've also been sooo busy with work, which is what I should be doing right now. For what is probably the first time ever in my life, I enjoyed a rainy Monday morning, for several reasons...

*Tony went to work today! For the first time in a month. Yay! So I am home alone, basking in the quietness that surrounds me and enjoying the rain.

*I have lots to accomplish today, and I won't feel so bad about staying at home and working when I'd rather be doing so many other things.

*Since it's raining, I won't be tempted to go out to the grocery store and buy bacon. I have been eating way too much bacon along with tomatoes...I think I've been living on BLT's...I won't tell how much bacon I've consumed lately...just more than any one person should. I guess BLT's have been my comfort food of choice lately.

So...a very short post from me today, but just wait...I'm sure I'll be back to my Chatty Cathy self.

All Shall Be Well...

and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well.

I have no idea who to attribute it to, but I saw this quote many years ago, wrote it on an index card, folded it up, and put it in my wallet. I usually forget about it until I've bought a new wallet and am transferring things from one wallet to the next.

I haven't bought a new wallet in over a year, but lately, I have found myself thinking of that quote.

And tonight, I can honestly say that all is well.

Tony has a firm job offer. He also has another company close to offering him a job...a job he really wants...but even if he doesn't get that one, he will be working as of Monday.

I've been sitting out on my porch reading tonight. It is a beautiful night. I'm not sweating! And I'm not being eaten by mosquitos!

And all is well.

I watered the plants, although I'm not sure why, because they are mostly dead anyway. I hope though that they will "liven" up when the weather cools down. I bought a bottle of wine today (a cheap one!), and I can honestly say that I am feeling content. It's been a long time since I could write that. I know it's only been a month since Tony lost his job, but all summer, I've been in a funk for lots of different reasons, and tonight, none of them seem to matter.

No, I haven't been neglecting my duties, or slacking. I've just had a really busy work-consuming week. Remember the picture of the books in the dumpster that I was so excited about? Well, I am in the final stages of the update of that book this week. I went to the office on Wednesday, and my boss told me to go home and not come back until it is finished. So, I've been at home working all week, tying up loose ends and more trying to finish it. I have done nothing but sit at my kitchen table at my computer all week...for hours. In my pajamas. Yesterday, beginning at 6:30 am. I think my butt is permanently indented in the chair. I've put my life pretty much "on hold." Laundry is behind...the house is a mess...but I am this >>><<< close to having it finished. I did have a moment of tears today when a document that I had been working on and adding things to all morning just went "poof" and disappeared before I saved it. (I was keeping it minimized as I was adding things to it). I suck at computers, and today, I had no brick wall to bang my head against since I am at home and have no brick wall.

So...I have been trying all week to look on the bright side of life. I thought that after my post about a bowl of popcorn I couldn't write about something any more ridiculous, but I was wrong. Feast your eyes on this:





















My feet. I am pretty sure you'd rather read about popcorn and old melamine bowls...

So my whole point in starting this was to find ways to enjoy simple things in the midst of awfulness. Soooo...today, even though I had a million and ten things to do and accomplish, I decided to take the time to give myself a pedicure. I haven't done that in a long time. So, that is a picture of my pedicured feet in my favorite sandals. If you see dog hair on the floor, try to ignore it.

I have also made myself take time this week to enjoy the unusually cool weather we have been given and spent a bit of time each morning on my porch with a book and a cup of coffee.

AND, I have enjoyed an abundance of summer vegetables and fruit...especially tomatoes. I love tomatoes, but only in the summer and only home grown. I could eat them like an apple. I don't, but I could. This week, I have bought an assortment of homegrown: Tomatoes, watermelon, cantelope, sweet corn, strawberries, and cucumbers. I would have taken pictures of it all, but I ate them before I could...

Cheap Therapy

Who says money can't buy happiness? It sure bought me some today! A small amount of money bought me a huge amount of happiness as a matter of fact.

(I'd like to give the whole money can't buy happiness theory a try for real!)

I finally made it to the YMCA book fair today. I went to it a few years ago, and was dumb enough to go on the first day. On the first day, it opens at 4 pm on a Friday, and people camp out overnight on Thursday waiting for it to open. I'm not kidding about that...I didn't know that the first time I went and showed up on a Friday at 4:05. I parked 10 miles away, and I waited way too long just too get in, and there were so many people it was a madhouse. I never went again. Really, who camps overnight to get into a book fair? Oh, those who are there looking for rare books that they can buy for a few bucks and then sell on Amazon or eBay, that's who.

So on Friday morning, I was watching Today in St. Louis, and they were doing a story about the YMCA bookfair. They were at the rec center where it is being held, interviewing people who had been there all night. Mind you, it was 6 am, and the bookfair didn't even open until 4 pm, remember. And it was HOT. All I could think was no way on God's green earth would I want to be in a crowd of people browsing for books who had been sitting out in the heat for 24 hours. No thank you. I also thought of those same people when around noon on Friday, some major thunderstorms blew through complete with tornado warnings and thunder and lightening. I hope those die hards make a lot of money on eBay for enduring those kinds of conditions just to buy some books.

I'm not a die hard. I just want books to read and I want to pay as little for them as possible. Especially now. I was going to go on Saturday, but then I heard that Tuesday was going to be half price day, so I decided to wait.

I felt so guilty for going. I kept telling myself, no matter how little money it is, I absolutely should not be spending money on books.

I'm so glad I DID go. I could have spent all day there, but I went with only $10 and no debit card or check book so I would control myself.

And I got all of THIS:




For THIS(Imagine a drum roll here if you want to):

























$9.25! NINE dollars for 11 hard back books. I think they should last me a month or two. LOL Probably longer than that since all I really have time to read about these days are funeral rituals. But oh boy, when I am finished with that book, it's so nice to know I have a good stash of reading material for my porch sitting times in the cooler months ahead.

Speaking of porch sitting time, I had an idea today. Well, actually, I started formulating the idea over the weekend, and decided today to put it into action. I'm going to write about here so that hopefully someone will make me stick to it.

I have a few blogs that I like to read, and one of them, that I have been reading for about a year, is written by a person who I will never meet, but really inspires me. I have never even responded to one of her posts so she has no idea who I am, but I read her blog at least once a week. She was recently diagnosed with MS, and the day she received her official diagnosis, she wrote a post titled "Thank God I have MS!" She had been having many issues for a while, and she was saying thank God because it had been narrowed down to a brain tumor or MS, so she was thankful to have MS. She has 4 little kids, and I don't blame her there.

That's not why I read her blog, though. I just enjoy it. She is also a really good photographer, and I love looking at her photographs. Why am I telling you this you may be wondering?

Well, one of the things she writes about is one of the things I have always enjoyed the most about reading her blog. One year ago, she and her family moved into a new house, a house that she always admired from afar and told her husband, "someday, we are going to live in that house!" She loves her house so much that she named it. The house needed a lot of work, and she blogs and takes photos of her work along the way. When she moved in, she decided that every week, she was going to write about and take pictures of something she loves about her house. She calls them "Pemberley Appreciation." (Pemberley is her house's name). I love reading those posts. She writes about silly stuff at times, and I'm sure it's been hard for her to come up with 52 things she loves about her house. Off the top of my head, I can think of quite a few things I love about my own house, but 52? No. It would be much easier for me to come up with 52 things I don't love about my house. That would take me only a few minutes in fact.

I was thinking of her today, and how she made a commitment to do something, and kept up with it, even when the only thing she could think of to write about was a door in her house. Or once, the dinner bell that hangs outside the kitchen. Thinking of her made me think of myself and how I am having a hard time coming up with things to enjoy about my day. Today was easy...a bunch of books for under $10...I may be able to ride that good feeling wave for a few days. But other days...not so easy.

Also, thinking about her gave me another idea. I'm not going to name my house, but I thought that maybe each week (or so!) I could write about something I love about my own house. I won't commit to that for a year, though. And hey, it will give me one day a week that I don't have to come up with something else! So starting next week, I'm going to take a photo and write about something I love about my house. Stay tuned for that...

I will close with sharing something else that made me smile today. (No, I'm not going to post another picture of a trash dumpster). Justin, who is a sensitive caring kid who does pretty much whatever he can to make sure no one knows that, thinks I'm the greatest mom in the world. No, he didn't say that, but I am inferring it from what he did say. I made breakfast for dinner. My kids LOVE having breakfast for dinner. Justin told me that it was the best thing I've ever made. :-) I think he exaggerates and was just starving after cross country practice.

I am sure I have written about many dumb things over the years, but this will probably be the dumbest. And also the dumbest thing I've taken a picture of. I normally download pictures onto my home computer. But this one...well I put it on my work laptop because my kids often go through my pictures, and I don't want them to see this one and think that I've gone crazy. They may think that anyway, but I don't want photographic proof for them to laugh at me about.

I've already written how this has become really hard for me, only a week into it. Hell, it was hard for me one day into it. Every day, I find myself wondering what exactly I am going to do. I'm not coming up with something every day like I originally intended. I can only write about so many sunrises. I cannot bake cupcakes and pretzels every day no matter how much I want to. On a daily basis, I go to work, come home, do laundry, make dinner, do dishes, feed the dog, give homework help...and on and on and on. I don't think of any of that as dancing in the rain. I think of all of that as living life. And not living in an enjoyable way, because face it, helping a kid with homework when YOU don't even understand the assignment is not fun.

So I may have over estimated my ability to put a fun, positive spin on every single day. But maybe a few times a week is good enough? Please tell me that it is!

I really suck at this. I am a slacker.

On Saturday, my big deal was being thrilled with and taking pictures of a bunch of outdated books thrown into a recycling bin. Woo hoo...I know how to look on the bright side, don't I?

Sunday,I really did nothing special to write about. I didn't even cook anything good. Like I said...slacker.

Yesterday evening, a friend wrote to me and said she couldn't wait to see what I was going to write about. Honestly...I hadn't planned on writing at all, but reading that made me know that of course I had to write something. I tried to last night, but I was way too tired and fell asleep at my computer. Yes I did, and my son will vouch for me as he is the one who woke me up and then laughed at me.

But like I said already this is the dumbest post. Ever. Hopefully, it will be the last dumb one, but knowing me, don't count on that!

Last night, I made something I don't make very often.



Yep,I made popcorn. Real popcorn that you pop by shaking a pan on the stove and then pour melted real butter over. Not that microwave stuff. For some crazy reason, my kids would rather have microwave popcorn, so that is what we usually have. But every once in a while, I have a craving for the real stuff. I probably gained back every pound I've managed to lose this summer, but it was worth it.

Oh, and I can't write about real popcorn without writing about that bowl. I have to eat it in that bowl. Last night, my craving for popcorn led me to cleaning out the refrigerator because it was in the back with some leftover pasta. I noticed a bowl very similar to that in a store one day...it was a Rachael Ray Garbage Bowl. I don't watch RR, so I have no idea what a Garbage Bowl is, or why it's called that. But this bowl is not one of RR's. This bowl was my Aunt Mary's. When she died, my sister, Mom and I cleaned out her little apartment, and divided up some of her things that we wanted. I wanted that bowl. I don't know why, but even if I had gotten nothing else of hers, I would have been fine with that as long as I got the bowl. And ever since, it has been my popcorn bowl. It's a silly thing, but that bowl makes me think of my Aunt Mary.

So was I right? Was that the dumbest thing to write about? Popcorn. A bowl. I'm really stretching it here, huh?

I'll try to do better tomorrow.

I want to share something that made me smile yesterday. It's a silly thing, but hey, these days, I take my smiles where I can grab them.

First a picture. (I'm so excited that I think I figured out how to put a picture where I want it instead of at the top of the page. I won't tell you just how long it has taken me to figure this out).



What is this a picture OF you may be wondering?

This is a picture of boxes of books in the huge dumpster that is sitting in Share's backyard. 36 boxes of books to be exact. This book, called Bittersweet...hellogoodbye is a project I have been working on for nearly 3 years now. Or rather the revision of this book is a project I have been working on for 3 years now. For the past few months, it's about all I've been working on. It is a book that was originally created by Sr. Jane Marie Lamb, the founder of Share. It is a guide for planning funerals and memorial services for babies who have died. It was written in the 1980's, and was in desperate need of updating as it is very Catholic based with a few things for those who are Jewish mixed in. My boss decided to update it many years ago, and it was handed to me to take on. The main goal was for it to be more inclusive of other religions, and I decided that I also wanted it to have a few new things added. I won't bore you with all the details, but has been quite the project. If you want to know anything about Buddhist or Hindu funerals, I'm the one to ask! It sounds like a depressing project, but I have pretty much loved every minute of it. Well, there are a few minutes or hours I haven't loved...times when I would have preferred banging my head against the brick wall in my office, but for the most part, it has been a joy to work on. I've collected lots of stories and pictures from parents, and it always gives me such a warm fuzzy feeling when complete strangers share such a precious and important piece of their lives with me.

So back to my point of why this picture made me smile. The new book is almost finished, and I'm so excited that I can't hardly stand it. There have been many of those "I'd rather bang my head against my brick wall moments" in the past few weeks. But,it is a week or two away from being ready for editing. It should be at the printer by mid-September. I am just tying up a lot of loose ends and filling in some gaps. I have been working non-stop on it for weeks. So yesterday morning, when I arrived at Share and saw the piles of boxes of the old books in that rusty old dumpster filling up fast with debris, I had to take a picture. That picture was a visual reminder that I am almost finished with a huge project, and it gave me such a great feeling.

I think I'm going to blow that picture up and hang it above my desk. At home and at my office. I'm sure my husband will enjoy looking at it as it can be a visual reminder to him that our dining room will soon be back to normal and not an obstacle course and mess of books papers, etc. If I were really brave, I'd take a picture of my dining room right now and post it, but I won't. I'm not that brave.

I will even be nice and make a copy for Megan...she is my coworker/designer who is taking all of the things I have written/collected and putting it into the book format. Hopefully, the picture will serve as a reminder to her that her days of wishing she was in my office banging her own head against that brick wall will soon come to an end.

For your viewing pleasure, I'll leave you today with a picture of that brick wall so that from now on, if I ever write about wanting to bang my head against it, you can visualize that if you want to. And no, my desk isn't always that messy...I took this picture after I had tried to get my office ready for it's makeover. I'm hoping and praying that when I go to Share later today that the ugly pea green trim is no more and it will instead be a pristine white.

Yesterday was interesting.

I went into the office for a while so I could clean and purge in my own office before our big makeover today. There was crap in my office that I "inherited" when I moved in, and I had never even touched most of it. Had no clue what most of it even was to be honest. There is a huge filing cabinet that I only use the top drawer, and the rest of it was just full of stuff. I mean crap.

So I made numerous trips downstairs with armloads of this stuff to shred. Shredding was actually quite therapuetic for me. As I happily fed piles of papers into the machine, I envisioned shredding my worries and fears...just purging them right from my mind and life. I carried a few loads of shredded paper outside to our recycling bin (yes, we are green at the Share office! LOL) and with each load I dumped in and slammed the lid down on, I pictured all of my cares going into that bin of trash.

After about 3 trips out to empty the bin from the shredder, it started storming. I mean really storming...high winds, thunder and lightening...it looked like it was 8 at night instead of noon. Just the kind of storm that scares me the most. On my next trip outside, it started to rain, so I kind of ran/skipped to the curb, and just before I reached the recycling dumpster, my bare feet slipped on the wet sidewalk. (Yes, we are heathens who sometimes run around the office barefooted. Can you believe it? We are very casual there! No, really, I was only barefooted because I was wearing sandals and I was going up and down the stairs so much, and there is one thing that scares me almost as much as storms, and that is going up and down the staircase. No, I'm not neurotic, but a couple of years ago, I fell on that staircase while wearing sandals and my left foot will never be the same as a result. So I have a good reason for running around my office in bare feet).

So like I said, I slipped on the sidewalk, and thinking of my injured foot, I flailed around a bit, hoping not to fall and hurt myself...I have a bag of shredded paper in my hand...I'm sure I looked pretty comical to anyone who may have seen me, and when I regained my balance (I did not fall thankfully!), I thought to myself it probably looked like some crazy lady was doing some crazy dance in the rain.

So there you have it. Yesterday, I really did dance in the rain, without even meaning to. I only wish it was as easy to purge my mind as it was to purge my office, because that sure felt good!