*Writing on your blog at the beginning of the year about all of the things you want to accomplish because you think that making them public will make them happen doesn’t work any better than writing them in a spiral notebook that you hide in a filing cabinet and find 8 years later. I’m kind of embarrassed that the things I wrote about last January, the few little things that I wanted to accomplish…I did NONE of them. I wrote about finally finishing my living room. Didn’t happen. I wrote about finding someone to teach me how to play the piano. Didn’t happen. I wrote about starting a regular form of exercise, such as walking or running. Didn’t happen. I wrote about how I planned to write something on my blog every day saying what I am thankful for. Didn’t happen. In fact, for the entire year, I only wrote 32 times.That is barely once a month. In order to not be sitting here in front of my computer writing on my blog about what a loser I am this time next year, I have decided I have no goals for the coming year. None. That way, I won’t have to come back here next year and report that I accomplished nothing. And, whatever I actually DO accomplish will just be a bonus.
*I would rather spend the rest of my life in prison than ever be a technical writer/researcher. Mainly, the reason I accomplished nothing I wanted to accomplish this year is because I spent most of it on a horrific writing project that made me think that my days would be better spent cleaning toilets and having root canals. Spending time in prison doesn’t sound too terrible anyway…3 meals a day that I don’t have to cook…and plenty of time to exercise. Sounds good to me.
*If one ever makes the mistake of telling one’s husband that her midlife crisis car is a Mustang convertible, be prepared for the feelings of rage that may surface when one’s husband brings home his own midlife crisis car…a convertible Mustang. In other words, I have learned to keep my midlife crisis desires to myself.
*The inventor of Pinterest is the son of the Devil. Maybe even the Devil himself. Or herself. The reason I think the inventor of Pinterest is somehow related to the Devil is because the discovery of Pinterest gave me a whole new way to waste enormous amounts of time sitting on my butt in front of my computer. It also gave me many new reasons to feel like a creatively challenged slacker. The wish list of projects I found on Pinterest that I wanted to create was way too long. The list of things I found on Pinterest that I actually did complete? Two.
*People who come up with a word of the year thinking it will somehow change their lives are whacked. I jumped on the “word of the year” bandwagon in January. I even had a Willow Tree Angel called my “word of the year.” I put her in my kitchen window sill thinking she would inspire me. She didn’t. She sat there all year mocking me. Looking at an angel called “Serenity” didn’t magically make me feel more serene. How dare her.I thought putting her in the kitchen window, where I would see her a million times a day, would remind me to BE serene. It didn’t. In fact, on one particularly bad day, I shoved her into a drawer so I wouldn’t have to look at her. I did that back in the summer and forgot all about her. Then, when my sister was here right after Thanksgiving, she opened that barely used junk drawer looking for a pair of scissors, held her up and asked me, “Why do you have this Willow Angel shoved in a drawer. I didn’t tell her why. I lied, said I put it in there when I was cleaning, took her out of my sister’s hand and put her back in the window sill while secretly flipping her off. (The angel, not my sister!).
So, on the cusp of the coming year, I have no goals, no word of the year, nothing I want to accomplish.
It’s going to be a successful year.
