The Purse that Liked to Eat Bracelets and Other Sparkly Things

You know how you put socks in the washer, and by the time the laundry comes out of the dryer, there are always missing socks, even though you KNEW you had put matching socks in, and you can’t figure out for the life of you where they end up? Well, I have the purse version of the proverbial sock-eating washing machine, only my purse liked to eat bracelets, beads, and even a breath mint or two. Things kept going in that never came out. When I find a purse I like, I usually carry it for a good long time. However, this purse’s eating habits nearly caused its early demise because I was ready to throw it way after various items kept disappearing from it.

A few months ago, I bought this adorable bright pink purse:


It was cheap, no Coach or Dooney and Burke, or any other expensive thing. It was $12 at TJMaxx. But I love it. Lately though, I started calling it as my cute Black Hole Purse. I have put numerous things in it that just went “poof” and disappeared. The first time it happened, I thought I was just scatterbrained and put the item somewhere else. The second time it happened, I did seriously think, WTH is wrong with this purse? The 3rd time…well, I was becoming slightly worried about my sanity. By the 4th time, I emptied it out and was going to throw it away or burn it. I am not a superstitious person at all, but the way things kept disappearing from this purse was starting to freak me out a bit.

A couple of months ago, actually, just a few days after I bought the purse, I made one of the Angel Ball bracelets to take to work to be photographed. A few days later, I went to get it out of my purse when I was ready to make the rest of them, and it was gone. I was puzzled because I knew I had put it in the zippered pocket on the inside of the purse. When I couldn’t find it, I assumed I had simply misplaced it. I went on my merry way and made the rest of the bracelets and forgot about the missing one.

Then, about a month ago, I made a bracelet for my cousin who recently found out she has cancer. I put it in my purse along with a card for her when I was leaving for work because I planned on stopping at the post office to mail it later that afternoon. Well, time got away from me, I left work late, and forgot about it. A couple of days later, when I finally had time to go to the post office, I couldn’t find it. The card was still there, but the bracelet was not. This time, I emptied my purse out and was so irritated with myself for losing another bracelet as this one had about $40 worth of beads on it. I went to look in my car, thinking that maybe my purse had tipped over and the bracelet had fallen out. I looked in the bead boxes I’d been working out of lately, wondering if I had mistakenly put it away. I looked through my own jewelry. The bracelet was no where to be found. I bought more beads and made another bracelet, immediately put it in an organza draw string bag, put it in my purse, and finally got it in the mail a few days later.

A couple of weeks ago, I planned a bracelet making party with the moms in our support group. I made a bracelet and took it to work to see if my boss liked what I had created. You guessed it, eventually that bracelet disappeared as well. This time, I was left scratching my head and wondering just what in the heck was going on. I again looked in my car, bead boxes, my own jewelry, the bag from the bead store that had all the beads still in it, and no bracelet. I came up with all sorts of theories…the dog ate it…my husband was trying to drive me insane...someone was stealing them (who, I had no idea!) I decided nothing else of any importance was going into the pocket of that purse.

Then came the straw that broke the camels back.

Thursday at work, I was looking for a receipt that I needed to turn in so I could be reimbursed for something I had purchased. At the bottom of my purse, I found some loose crystals from a strand that had broken. I put them in the zippered pocket of my purse along with a pair of nail clippers. For good measure, I zipped the pocket so the beads would have the chance to fall out. Yesterday morning, I went to get the nail clippers from my purse. I unzipped the pocket, and the only thing in it were two tiny beads when I put at least 20 in there just the day before. This time, I was pissed! I turned my purse upside down, dumped everything on the counter, and decided I was going to start a fire in our fire put and gleefully watch my evil purse turn into a pile of bright pink ashes. When the contents of my purse were scattered across the kitchen island, I flopped it down on the counter in disgust. And heard slight “thunk.” The purse is soft, no hard bottom. Thinking that not only was my purse eating things in order to make me crazy, it was ensuring I did go crazy by now making me hear things. I plopped it on the counter again, and there was definitely something in the bottom of the purse. I pulled the fabric lining from the inside and began examining it for a hole, but there was none. It was obvious to me by this point that something was in the bottom of my purse between the lining and the leather part. Finally, I looked at the lining of the zippered pocket and I found a tiny little hole, less than half the size of the tip of my pinky finger. I ripped it wide open, stuck my hand through the hole and found this:




Mystery solved. It wasn’t an evil purse that likes to eat bling after all…just a cheap one with a tiny hole in the lining of the pocket. Maybe I should buy expensive purses from now on. I’ll be poorer, but at least I won’t wonder anymore if my purse is possessed by a bracelet-eating spirit who is trying to drive me insane.