Saturday, a plastic electrical outlet cover made me cry.
For some dumb reason, probably because the world is full of
procrastinators and I am the Queen of ALL of them, I waited until now to take
on this project, even though I have known for months I was going to do it. And
I paid mightily for my bad habit of putting things off. The last few days of
June were the hottest June days on record here in the St. Louis metro area, and
Justin’s room is the hottest room in the house. Since I had put it off for so
long, it had to be done now, hot or not. But let me tell ya…steaming 12 year
old wallpaper from the walls on a 106 degree day is most definitely NOT my idea
of fun, and I hope I never have to do any such thing ever again.
While sweating in that hot room that was a hot mess is what
I was expecting when I got started Saturday morning, what I wasn’t expecting
was the flood of emotions I would experience as the day wore on.
The emotional waves rolled in when Tony took Justin’s bed
out of the room. Behind the bed was an electrical outlet cover that is still speckled
with the pink, yellow and light green paints that had once covered the bottom
third of the walls in that room. Tears welled up as I remembered how I lovingly
decorated the room when I was pregnant with Lauren.
After having two boys, I was making her room as girly as I
possibly could, and I painted the top of the room a sunshiny yellow, the bottom
a sponged mixture of bubblegum pink, minty green, and the same yellow the upper
walls were painted with. When I was expecting Lauren, I made my first-ever
quilt…white eyelet threaded with pink and yellow and mint green ribbons. It was
trimmed with a white eyelet ruffle and backed with a soft flannel pastel print
fabric. More white eyelet and pink ribbon topped the windows
I digress…those were my initial thoughts when I saw that
silly outlet cover. In a just a few short minutes, I vividly remembered how
much fun I had decorating the nursery for my first baby girl 17 years ago this
summer.
As the day wore on, perhaps the extreme heat in that room
affected my brain, but the tearful waltz down memory lane continued.
I thought about how 3 of my 4 children had used that room as
their nursery. We moved into this house just a few weeks before Justin was
born, and I was so very excited to prepare a room. I had done nothing at all to
get ready for our new son’s arrival…not only were we waiting for our new house
to be built, but I had just been released from 8 weeks of bed rest the day
before we closed on it. My doctor knew we were moving and gave me explicit
instructions that I was to do nothing but sit on the porch and boss people
around. I had no problem doing that, but I also couldn’t wait to prepare the
room that our new baby would soon be occupying. I did not have the time to
really decorate the room, but I bought new bedding in primary colors, filled
his dresser with new baby clothes as well as those passed down from Brandon. I
hung a very special framed cross stitch print on the wall…special because I had
passed the time during my scary weeks of bed rest stitching it. I have saved it
all these years:
That room was his little haven until he was 13 months old. By then,
I was expecting Lauren, and I was ready to turn it into a room fit for a little
princess. As I scraped yesterday, I got to one corner of the room that still
had the little brass hooks in the ceiling that once hung a mesh sling full of her
stuffed animals and dolls. I uncovered patches of that old yellow paint…and
uncovered more memories…
It remained untouched until Saturday. Now, I am readying it
for a 17 year old boy from France. While it is still Justin’s room, and he wants
to pick the new wall color (navy blue!), I told him it has to be a color that I
like since in a few months, he will be leaving for the Navy. I envision turning
it into a proper guest room. We have never had one, and over the years, any
guest we had either slept in one of our beds or on a couch. It’s kind of ironic
that now that I can have a guest room, we never actually have overnight guests.
In a few months, half of my children will be leaving the
nest, so perhaps it is only natural for me to reminisce the way I did. After
all, each one of my children except Brandon has spent their entire lives in
this house. I have given them something I never had…a childhood home they can
remember always. We moved so much when I was a kid, and I had many childhood
homes. One thing I always told Tony I wanted for my kids was stability in one
home and school while they were growing up, and while it is nice for them, I
guess it makes it more likely that I am going to have a hard time when they
leave here. We were having a conversation with the girls this weekend, and I
told Lauren about how I remembered decorating the room for her and how much fun
I had. That led to her asking “what are you and dad going to do when we all
leave?” Tony jokingly said, “Buy a condo!” and Lauren and Rachel both looked
horrified. Lauren said, “You can’t! I want to have this house to come home to!”
Tears…
I’ve done what I set out to do, and soon the process will
begin—the process of my children leaving the nest that I have done my very best
to make cozy and loving for them.
I discovered two things this weekend…one…any overnight guest
I do have in my first real guest room will sleep in a room that has held many
happy memories…and the laughter, tears and paraphernalia of 4 wonderful
children. Two, I realized that if a cheap plastic outlet cover makes me cry, I’m
not going to be a very good empty nester.
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