Summer of Seeking Peace

Way back in early May, I was having coffee on my porch one gray, chilly Sunday morning, and summer seemed like a distant dream. I was feeling in a bit of a funk about summer and how it isn’t what it used to be now that the kids are all grown. I just don’t seem to enjoy summer the way I once did, so I decided to make a concerted effort to make this summer different, and fun. I made a list of things to do this summer to jazz it up a bit. Fun journeys for us to embark on. Fun things I was going to do on my Fridays off work and fun things I was going to do with my family on the weekends. My list included things like finding new hiking places, going for long bike rides on the Katy Trail, making a new flavor of homemade ice cream every Sunday, buying a treat from the ice cream truck, building a backyard fire pit and drawing “fabulous” art on the driveway with sidewalk chalk with my children, who now have much better artistic skills than they had at age 5.

I wrote a list in my journal, thinking that putting it in writing would make me accountable to actually DO these things.

2017 was going to be “THE Summer O’ Fun!”

I kicked of my Summer O’ Fun with a trip to visit my brother and brother in law in Atlanta. Really, I wondered, where better to kick off summer than in HOTLANTA? A place where I put my feet up and relax in ways I don’t at home? A place where a sign on the porch proclaims, “It’s Always 5 o’clock Here!”

Ahh…Memorial Day weekend. The official summer kick off. MY official summer kickoff. I came home on May 30 after a relaxing weekend ready to take on Summer 2017.

I had plans!

I had a bucket list!

I was ready!

I bought sidewalk chalk!

I bought a new ice cream maker!

It was going to be awesome!

Four days later, my mom fell and broke her hip. My summer plans went out the proverbial window as I spent the next 4 weekends going to my parent's house to help. My Fridays off became the only day of my weekend when I could do laundry, clean my house and run errands, and I got home late on Sunday night, so my bucket list of summer fun was put aside and forgotten about.

July was vacation and work craziness. I often looked longingly at my bucket list, thinking that I still had a few more weeks to fulfill my summer wishes.

Now, the end of August has arrived, and the only thing I’ve managed to cross off that bucket list I so dreamily wrote back in May is a big fat NOTHING. Not one thing.

I haven’t gone on one bike ride.

I haven’t taken one hike.

I haven’t drawn that driveway chalk art.

I haven’t made a batch of homemade gigantic bubble mix.

I haven’t visited the friend I wanted to visit.

I haven’t made homemade ice cream every Sunday. (I did make it one Sunday, and it didn’t even turn out).

I haven’t picked peaches. (I did buy some from an orchard, though!)

If I look at the bucket list I wrote back in May, it seems this summer has been a dismal failure.

But, really, it hasn’t. My Summer O’ Fun hasn’t turned out the way I envisioned on that dreary day in May, but it has, however, been really good in most ways. I have put a great deal of effort into making the most of this summer, and I have done my very best to find peaceful moments in all of it while trying not to long too much for what I expected/wanted it to be.

*While spending all those weekends with my parents for a month wasn’t easy, there were most definitely things I enjoyed. I went grocery shopping with my dad. I helped him do yard chores like planting tomatoes and cutting weeds. (I won’t talk about the icky huge bug bites I got that required a doctor visit because I am such a delicate, precious little city girl). It was nice to be able to help them out and spend time just being with them. We did have some nice chats, and I know they appreciated my help.

I feel at peace with my relationship with my parents for the first time in a long (very long!) time.

*We went to the beach. It was sort of a last minute trip, we didn’t go where I wanted to go, but we found a beautiful hotel on Ft. Myers Beach, complete with a fun beach side bar that hosted a band almost every night that we could listen to on the deck outside our room. It came at really bad time for me at work, and it was a real struggle to put crap aside and enjoy the trip, but I managed to do just that. I have been writing quite a bit about our trip, and there will probably be a whole post or two about it at some point. For now I will just say, envision lots of heart eyes, and I keep these images close to my heart.

My heart found a great deal of peace on my trip to the beach. It was just what I needed at the time. I want to go back!

*I have had some time to spend on a couple of crochet projects. I finished a baby blanket for a gift that I absolutely love, and I started on a new blanket for myself, that I think I am going to love. I’m calling it my Sunshine Blanket. It is literally little squares of sunshine, that I am crocheting in all colors of yellow and orange that will one day be sewn together into a blanket. More about that another time, too.

Crocheting always brings a bit of peace and calmness to my day, even if I only have a few minutes to devote to it.

*I wrote a few months ago about the weight loss challenge with my co-workers. I have now lost 20 pounds since the beginning of March. It’s been an up and down adventure, sometimes I go weeks and don’t lose anything at all, but I have stuck with my healthy eating, and I feel better than I have felt in a LONG time. I go for walks almost every morning, and I am eating so many vegetables that it’s a wonder my skin isn’t green. I still have more I want to lose, but I have gone down a couple of sizes, which has helped keep me motivated. I have gone from a size L-XL in shirts to a M, and I am down two pants sizes. I even bought a pair of skinny jeans in the JUNIOR department this weekend! I haven’t been able to fit in junior size clothes since I don’t even remember.

I feel a great deal of peace knowing that I am healthier and stronger.  

*My three college children have returned to their schools, and my house is way so quiet. I’d like to say it’s now clean, but it is not. They each left some sort of mess for me to clean up, and I will at some point. For the most part, they are all settled and happy.

It brings my mama heart peace to know my children are on a path to becoming productive adults, even if some of them have taken a twisty, roundabout path to get there.

I will end this with this photo:

Last Friday, I spent some time with a dear friend walking around a peaceful lake. I have had this post in the works for weeks, and even had already titled it what it is, and we had a conversation about seeking peace. So it seems perfect to finish it up now because this friend brings peace to my soul for so many reasons.

And my “Summer O' Fun?” Well, it turns out the “Summer of Seeking Peace” was even better and more what I needed, I just didn’t know that back in May.

Summer isn’t officially over for another month, but it feels like it is. The things I didn’t get to cross off my bucket list probably won’t ever get crossed off as many of them won’t be fun by myself. And some of them, I’d look downright silly doing by myself. I mean really, what 50-some year old wouldn’t look completely ridiculous crawling around on the driveway drawing chalk art or running through the yard making giant bubbles all by herself?

Oh well. There is always next year.