I guess I will just jump right in with both feet holding my nose so I don’t drown, and I will not worry about if it is jumbled up all over the place.
More than likely, it will be. Not that it’s unusual for things I write to be all jumbled up, but this particular time, it may be jumbled up into a mess more than usual.
Saturday, I went to my parents’ for the day because my brother Rick was visiting from Georgia. It was the second time I’ve seen him since July 1982. The story of Rick is one of my family’s deepest darkest family secrets…talk about skeletons in a closet…this story is a big old bag of rattle-y skeleton bones long buried deep in a dark and scary closet.
We all got together with him back in November for a quick dinner when he was in the St. Louis area, and it was the first time my sister or parents or I had seen him since July 1982 when he left our house on Rose Ann Dr. in Olney on foot with nothing but a suitcase. No money. No car. Nothing. Nothing but a suitcase full of clothes. He was forced to leave by my parents just a month after he graduated from high school. He had tried to join the Army, and I will not ever forget the day he left for St. Louis with the recruiter, headed for boot camp. Two days later, I came home from work to find him sitting at the kitchen table. Apparently, when he had tried to be inducted into the Army, he failed the drug test, so he was back home, and that evening, he was forced to leave our home. For years, I had no idea what happened to him.
Needless to say, I was apprehensive about meeting up with him back in the fall, but it went great, and he welcomed my parents with the same open arms that he was welcomed by them with. It was heartwarming and sad and wonderful all at the same time watching him hug mom and sit close to her at dinner. When he left that night, he promised mom he’d come back for a weekend sometime soon, and he did this past weekend.
I took a couple of the kids and went over on Saturday. I was nervous as heck. Meeting in a neutral location like Applebee’s in Wentzville, MO with just Tony, Theresa, Roger, Mom and Dad for 2 hours was one thing. Meeting at Mom and Dad’s house, with kids and all was quite another thing. I was almost sick at my stomach that morning thinking about it, and was a big huge bundle of stress and nerves before we left.
It went well, but it was a long, emotional, draining day.
I can’t help but look at him and feel for all he has been through. I can’t imagine what his life was like when he was forced at the age of 18 to leave his home on foot with nothing but a suitcase full of clothes. I have a 20 year old, and an almost 18 year old, and the thought of either one of them in that situation is more than my mind can take thinking about.
At the same time as I am thinking about Brandon and Justin, I will not ever forget seeing Rick and the loving way he interacted with Mom yesterday. When I got there, they were sitting on Mom’s couch so close their legs were touching…looking through a box of old photographs. It was like no one else was in the room. I tried to talk, they ignored me, so I finally picked up a magazine and let them reminisce.
Rick was so loving and gentle and downright kind with her. Several times, he put his hand on her arm, or her back, and many other times, I would glance at him and see the way he was looking at her with such love in his eyes.
It made me want to cry and smile at the same time. I wanted to smile because obviously, even after all the horrible things that happened, he still obviously so loves our mother. Even after being kicked out of the house as a kid. Even after 30 years of not seeing any of us.
I wanted to smile for the same reasons I wanted to cry.
There are conversations and looks and other things that I can’t even bring myself to write about. We left much later than I wanted to leave, and I had to drink coffee on the way home to stay awake. The worst thing about leaving so late was kids quiet and listening to their iPods on the way home, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Thoughts that I have tried for days to write about, but I can’t seem to get them out in a coherent way.
I will have to try again. Healing, Part 2. Add that to the list of Part 2’s…last week, I said I’d write “Learning to Love Yourself, Part 2.” This week is definitely NOT the week for that.
Good thing I don’t have a whole gaggle of readers who are going to bombard me with emails for cutting off a story two times in a week.
Joyful Simplicities for this week. It’s a short list, but I tried!
A chocolate covered wine bottle.
My boss hosted a murder mystery party last night, and the theme was “Death by Chocolate.” I told her weeks ago I had this awesome truffle recipe, and I would make some for her party. I dropped them off at her house yesterday morning on my way out of town, and she gave me this bottle of wine as a thank you gift.
It’s a bottle of Chardonnay, triple dipped in chocolate. There is a ribbon underneath the chocolate, and as you unwind the ribbon, pieces of the chocolate break off.
Who thinks of these things?
Chocolate truffles
I made 45 of these truffles Friday night. Thankfully, I gave most of them to my boss, or I probably would have eaten nearly all of them. They turned out so good and literally melt in your mouth. Why yes. That is a half eaten one on the plate. If I eat half in the morning and half at night, does that affect the calorie consumption??
And yes, there is an oddball. I had the grand idea to roll half of them in cocoa powder and half in sprinkles. Thankfully, I only rolled two in the powder…and I taste tested it. It was NASTY. I’ll be throwing that one away. You know it’s bad if I am throwing away choclolate.
Signs that spring is on its way…
fat robins flitting around the yard, and tulips poking up through the cold dirt. In FEBRUARY!!! Normally, crocuses are just starting to show their finery in late February…not tulips.
My first scrapbook in 8 years is >< close to being finished. I can’t wait to show it off! For now, here is this…the stack of finished pages waiting to be put into the album.
Dinner with an old friend
A beloved coworker who moved to Kansas City a few months ago was in town this week, and we all went out to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants. It was a much-needed break from life. And the best part, I get to make some wedding jewelry! Her son is getting married in July, and she bought her dress while she was in town, and gave me a swatch of the fabric so I can get started on designing some fabulous jewelry for her. I can’t wait!
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