I just returned from my long-anticipated trip to Maine. And what a trip it was! I don’t know if I will adequately be able to put into words just how wonderful it really was, and how much it meant to me, but I’m going to try.

Over the past few months, I have looked so forward to this trip for several reasons, the main one simply being that I was going to be spending time with a dear friend I don’t get to see often enough. Other reasons are harder to explain, but like I said, I will try!

We are friends brought together by tragedy…the death of her daughter. If not for that, we would never have met. That thought is always hovering in the back of my mind, but it has been even more so lately. I traveled to Maine for her oldest daughter’s wedding, a wedding that her daughter who died would have been an integral part of... should have been an integral part of.

I know a friend is no substitute for a daughter, but since her daughter wasn’t there, I wanted to be. Needed to be. That may sound silly, but I felt this desire to be a part of this special time in Barb’s life. In the weeks leading up to the wedding, while I was counting the days until my trip, I was also thinking about how much I wished that her daughter were there…even though if she were, I wouldn’t be. Such a vicious circle, one whose never-ending path I have traveled around too often.

Another reason I looked so forward to the trip is that I love spending time with Barb’s family. I love all of them almost as much as I love her. They are always so welcoming to me when I am there and make me feel as if I am part of the family. I can relax and be myself around them and they don’t think I’m silly or weird. Well, maybe they do at times, but if they do, they hide it well! I never feel as if I have to try to be someone or something I’m not.

This past week was no exception. I don’t think I have ever been more comfortable around a friend’s family or in a friend’s home. Not only her kids and husband, but even her extended family and her friends, who I had not met before. Everyone, from her neighbors to her brother and sisters to her father and in laws were so kind to me. Her father even took me out to dinner with the entire family. To be included in her family get togethers meant so much to me. More than I can say. While I usually feel really nervous and unsure of myself around people I don’t know, those feelings quickly disappeared because everyone was so friendly, kind and welcoming. I never felt as if I was in the way, or as if I shouldn’t be there. I felt as if I was right where I should be and I’m so very glad I went. This trip was just what I needed.

I feel incredibly lucky and so very blessed to have not only Barb, but her family as well, in my life. And it was so hard to leave. I was missing my own family, who I had never been away from for so long, yet I also felt like I was leaving family when it was time to go home—each time I leave, it is harder to do.

I truly enjoyed every moment of my time there. (Even the times I know Barb thinks I didn’t!) I loved helping with last minute wedding preparations. I enjoyed hanging out and chatting with her kids. Going out for ice cream. Doing just nothing. My last day there was bittersweet…we finally had some time to ourselves, took a drive, went out to lunch…it was a beautiful day, the perfect way to end the week, though it was laced with a touch of sadness that we can’t do those things more often. I wish my friend and her family who have all come to mean so much to me weren’t so far away. But, I have some great memories to tide me over until the next visit…it was a week I know I won’t soon forget.