I just returned this afternoon from a weekend visit to my hometown. I don't go there often since my parents no longer live there, but I love it there and do wish we could go more often. We had a really nice time...it was the first time in years that Tony, the kids and I were all there for an entire weekend. Usually, we go for quick trips, me and a few kids, for weddings, funerals, etc.
This weekend, I was sort of looking forward to it, sort of dreading it. I went for a family reunion my youngest brother organized. He was hoping for some family "fence mending" and had invited several people who have been on the outskirts of the family for many years. So I was dreading it for that reason, because I was unsure of how it would all turn out, and I don't like not knowing how things are going to turn out! I was looking forward to it because I don't get to see my brother that often, and I really enjoy spending time with him and his family. My sister and her family were staying there too, and we don't often spend time together.
I also had plans to get together on Saturday morning with an old friend of mine from college. Kellie and I became good friends our freshman year, and even though she quit going to college and got married when I went away for my junior year, we remained close for many years. Then I moved to Omaha, then St. Louis, and as we both got older, had kids, life got in the way, and we didn't see each other as often, but always made sure we sent Christmas and birthday cards, and I would usually try to see her when I was in town visiting my parents. Since my parents moved away from there, I hadn't seen her in probably 8 or 9 years, and I was really looking forward to seeing her and meeting her fiance.
So, while I'm drained right now, physically and emotionally, I want to write about my weekend while it's fresh in my mind, but I don't think I'm to my normal rambling self. I'll keep the highlights short and sweet but I may need to revisit some things another time.
*driving into Olney is always such a bittersweet moment, driving in past the lake where Aunt Mary lived...I always feel a pang of missing her as we drive over the little bridge. I can look to the right and see the back of her house, close my eyes and imagine Uncle Dan at the end of the dock fishing. I can imagine me as a little girl sitting at a picnic table in the back yard eating Aunt Mary's yummy food. I can remember her 1950's white formica topped table with gold flecks in it and silver legs...I always want to turn off the highway onto the gravel lane that leads to her house, but I never do unless I'm by myself because Tony doesn't "get" why I want to go there. I don't either, really.
*three of the family members I was worrying about attending the reunion did not show up. A part of me felt relieved by that, but another part wishes that our family could heal so many past hurts. While it was awkward at the beginning, but the time everyone was packing up their lawn chairs and coolers, there were many hugs and tears and promises that we must do this again.
*while it was wonderful to see the family who did show up, it was so strange being there with my cousins who I grew up spending so much time with...summers at the lake, Christmases at my grandparents...one of my cousins (who is younger than me!) is a grandparent! How did THAT happen??? And I'd never even met his granddaughter, who is 4. My cousins kids showed up with spouses and boyfriends I had never met. One cousin has a little girl I'd never met. So while it WAS fun to see everyone, it was all laced with a bit of sadness for all that has happened that tore us apart. And the REALLY sad thing is that it had nothing to with us (with me, my sister, my brother, or my cousins) but with our parents who cut each other out of their lives, leaving all of us cousins unable, or maybe just unsure of how to continue to have a family relationship.
*I had a great time getting together with Kellie. While I was on my way to the restaurant, I was so nervous, wondering what we would have to say to each other after so much time had gone by, but it really was like we'd seen each other only a few months ago. We reminisced about old times, probably boring her fiance silly, shared pictures of our kids, talked about what is going on our lives now, jobs, her wedding in 2 weeks...we packed a lot into an hour and a half! The only negative...when I was getting out of the car to go into the restaurant, in the pouring down rain, I accidentally locked the keys in the car. My poor husband...I had to call him, and he spent nearly 2 hours trying to break into our car so we wouldn't have to call a locksmith on a holiday. He was not too happy with me, that's for sure.
*as I usually always do when I'm in Olney, I drive by our old house and the homes where my 2 grandmothers lived. Again, such wonderful memories come to mind...raking leaves into huge piles and jumping in them in Grandma Kieffer's yard, feeding the white squirrels in my grandma Fulk's yard...sitting in rocking chairs on Grandma Fulk's patio...so many more, too many to list her.
*when I drove by Grandma Kieffer's house, I was glad to see that someone new seems to have bought it and is really making it look beautiful from the outside. They have put up a porch railing on the huge wrap around porch that reminds me of the one I've seen in pictures from when it was newly built in the late 1800's. I'm not crazy about the blue siding, but then it's not my house! LOL Every time I see that house, I have to admit, I almost get a little pissed off, thinking how *I* would make that house look if it were mine...I'd have ferns hanging around the porch, white wicker swings, pots of flowers....white lattice under the porch...it never looks the way I imagine it. Today, I noticed there are banners hanging in several places around the porch announcing the arrival of a new baby boy. That gave me a good feeling (the last owner was an older man)...a new generation will hopefully grow up in that house that holds so many memories for me.
Sigh...I'd like to write more about my weekend, but I don't think I can right now.
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