Comfort and Joy

No, I haven't been so out of touch with reality lately that I have skipped right over Halloween and Thanksgiving and gone straight to Christmas. Those are my words of the week. Comfort as in comfort food and comfortable clothes and making my house comfortable...and joy as in...well, just JOY.

Worries are there, stress is there, turmoil is there, but I am trying my hardest to not think of that evil trio of words and focus on my family and myself, both that have been greatly neglected lately.

First, the comfort CLOTHES...

I've barely gotten out of my pajamas. I even went to work on Monday in my pjs. Yeah, you read that right. Me, who used to not even go to the grocery store without makeup on went to work in my pajama pants. Well, technically, they aren't pajama pants because I didn't buy them in the pajama department. Really, they are "yoga pants." I don't do yoga, although I would like to...I just like the comfy pants...they are boring gray knit, certainly nothing cute, but I sleep in them, and I wore them to work. No one was going to be there except me...I was bone weary tired after a long work weekend, and decided the hell with it, I was wearing them. Yesterday, I didn't get out of my pajamas (real pajamas this time...navy and green and white plaid flannel pants) and I even wore them to school to pick up Rachel. I've sunk to a new low, I know. Don't tell anyone and ruin my image!

Now, for the comfort FOOD...

I've been cooking and baking all kinds of fallish stuff while I am not depressed because it's cold and gross.I don't think it's any big secret that I hate winter... Hate it with a fiery passion.
I hate snow.
I hate cold.
I hate ice.
I hate gray skies.
I hate my dead brown lawn.
I hate that I can't sit out on my porch and read in my rocking chair early in the morning and late at night.
I hate winter coats.
And I really hate boots. I hate boots so much I don't even own any. Every year, I tell myself I am going to buy boots because there are times I really need them, but I don't because I think they are ugly and uncomfortable. I hear Ugg boots are comfortable, but just looking at them makes me think UGH.

I really really REALLY wish that I could be like a bear and go curl up in some warm, snuggly, cozy place with my belly full the day after Christmas and wake up to sunshine, flowers and the budding trees of April. And the skinnier body that I would have after not eating for 4 months.

I hate winter.

My favorite season is summer, but a close second is fall. Most everyone I know who lives here dreams of fall during the steamy St. Louis summers. Fall is the one time of year where it is still warm (sometimes, it is still hot even), yet the skies are a clear blue without the grayish haze of humidity that hangs over the sky throughout June, July, August and September. After May or June, October is my second most favorite month of the year because it is usually the only month I don't turn on the air conditioner or the furnace. In October, I open the windows and enjoy cool breezes blowing through my house. Even if it is chilly, I dress warm and breathe them in. I don't have to water the grass. I can go out on the porch in the morning in flannel pants, sweatshirts and slippers. I can put on make up in the morning and know that it's not going to be melting off my face by noon.

I love fall. Maybe if I lived in a house with huge trees surrounding it with piles of leaves that needed to be raked I would hate it, but my trees are puny enough that the kids enjoy raking.

This week, I have done everything I can to enjoy the lovely fall we are having. It's no secret that the past few weeks, heck months, of my life have been stressful and busy. My family has suffered and eaten like crap. Well, the kids don't think that chicken nuggets and tater tots and Kraft mac and cheese and Little Cesaers pizza is crap, but I do. I'm pretty sure Tony does too, although he has wisely kept whatever thoughts he may be having on the subject of dinner to himself. Sooo...I have in the past few days:

*Made a yummy pot of chili and a pot of chicken and dumplings


*Baked cheddar beer bread

*Baked an apple/pear pie (AND made the crust from scratch!)


Is there anything better than your daughter running up to you, throwing her arms around your neck and yelling into your ear, "You are the best mommy ever, Mother!" when she comes home and smells pie in the oven? I think there is not. Especially when you've been feeling like a horrible mother who has barely seen her kids in weeks. I realized on Sunday afternoon when I was buying apples that I hadn't even walked into a grocery store in almost 2 weeks...Tony has been doing the grocery shopping and cooking, so you can imagine what my children have been eating...and why Lauren was so excited for a pie.

*Baked chocolate chip cookies

*Bought two sugar pumpkins and a butternut squash


*Made pumpkin scones (and sat out on the porch with a friend eating them!)

*Decorated my house for fall




*Got out my fall cookbooks--and Rachel and I found a couple of treats she wants to make to give to her friends


*Made a huge Ziploc bag full of my kids (and my!) favorite fall snack...candy corn mixed with dry roasted peanuts


I have worked so many hours lately that I had to take two days off this week, and while I have gotten my house back in order, done laundry, and lots of cooking, I've also spent lots of time in pjs (already covered THAT!), relaxing, and knitting. Tony makes fun of me and calls me a little old lady, but I love to knit. I tell him that a few balls of yarn now and then are cheaper than therapy...and that he better watch what he says to me while I have 2 pointy metal objects in my hands. Anyway, remember when I wrote a month or more ago about the yarn I bought? Well, I finally got around to making a couple of dishcloths


I've also been working on this fun twisty scarf that might actually make me look forward to winter so I can wear it. Nah...not really, but it is a fun scarf.


I've already gone on and on way too much, I know. But today, my "Message from God" on Facebook said this:

On this day, God wants you to know that life is not meant to be a speedway. Slow down and savor the gifts that God has already showered you with.

How fitting since that is exactly what I've been trying to do lately...slow down and appreciate all the good things that surround me. My life is so very far from perfect, but I can honestly say that right now, I do believe that things are just as they should be...that I am just where I am supposed to be. If I had been given a choice and asked if I wanted the past almost two years of my life to be what they have been, would I have chosen that? NO! But, at the same time, I know that I have so much to be thankful for, and I am chosing to focus on those things as much as I can.

Challenging times are going to come whether I want them to or not, just as winter is going to come no matter how much I wish it wouldn't when I am in the throes of celebrating fall. I can't do anything about it. All I can do is try not to worry about what will come in the future, and try to not let my worries of the future affect what I enjoy now. All I can do is soak in, revel in, what is good and right right now. And knit a scarf to prepare for winter!

For now, I am finding joy in just being in my clean (well, semi sorta clean) house with the smells of fall wafting through the open windows...and I have one more picture to share, a really silly one. Sillier than the rest.


These white curtains blowing in the breeze always make me smile and make cleaning the bathroom a bit more pleasant.