Here Comes the Sun

It feels like years since it's been here.

The sun really WAS here today. Yahoo and thank goodness because it has been MIA in my part of the world.

I really think this self-isolation thing would be much easier to deal with and get through if we didn’t have day after day after day of cold, rain, fog and gray skies. Muddling through March is typical for me; it’s my least favorite month of the year. I often find myself grumpy in March as winter doesn’t seem to want to let spring take hold and by March, I am done with winter. But it has been especially challenging this year after spending most of it cooped up and fearful because of the coronavirus. I am trying to balance my feelings of fear and uncertainty with knowing that it is important to remain as positive as I can. I am trying to balance my need to write ALL the things that are happening while also having a hard time writing anything at all when life as I, and we all, know it has changed so drastically and suddenly.  

I am at the beginning of my third week working from home, day 17 of self-isolation, and this past week was a bit easier than the first week. I am getting into somewhat of a groove, which is good since I have no idea how long this will last, and the cases are increasing daily in the St. Louis area. My main goal this past week was to put on makeup and wear real clothes. And by real clothes, I mean my nicer leggings and sweaters vs. the leggings I sleep in and hoodies. I didn’t meet my goal every day, but the first week, I barely got out of my pajamas and hoodies, so anything was an improvement. I still had some bad moments and days with messy mixed up emotions and varying degrees of anxiety, but not as many as I had that first week. I am trying to be more mindful about doing positive things to take my mind off the fear I feel a great deal of the time. Thank goodness for the internet as I have found some great ideas that I hope will help me keep my sanity through this.

My biggest inspiration this past week is a gal I follow on Instagram, an American living in Northern Italy, who has been quarantined with her family for 22 days. Counting social isolation, they have been pretty much locked down for about 6 weeks. She and her husband have two young children, and she posts a short video each day of what life is like for her family. In each video, she mentions her family’s theme for that day—a word or phrase they focus on. I love that, and I made my own list of “theme of the day” ideas along with ways I can incorporate them into my life. 

The first word I chose is sunshine, and I have focused on that one word for the last week. Since sunshine is scarce right now, I thought about ways I can bring the spirit of sunshine into these dreary, depressing days. I have surrounded myself with all things yellow and sunny, and I am impressed with my sunshine-making skills. 😊

 *On the dreariest of days, I keep candles lit throughout my house, especially near the workstation I have set up on my kitchen table. Some are fake battery-operated candles, but I also have several of my favorite Glade Sunny Days candle. And, I am so happy that I bought this cheerful yellow gingham tablecloth before all life went crazy. 

*I bought this spring-y bouquet of flowers at the grocery store. I couldn’t resist once I saw the display of them with this little sign. 

*I spent over an hour digging through tubs in the basement to find this wreath that just screams “SPRING is HERE!” to me, even when spring is not really here. My mother in law bought it for me a few years ago, and I love it. 

*Back in the fall, I bought some earrings from a jewelry party my sister had because they reminded me of a sunburst. Even though I rarely leave my house, I have been wearing these earrings, along with my fancy leggings, almost every day. 

*I have been playing with homemade lemon lavender scented play doh. That I made myself. 😊 Squishing it around helps me stay calm when I am watching the news and it smells good, too.

*One day this week, Lauren and I went for a drive during a cold rainstorm to look for forsythia bushes. I love forsythia. They signal the beginning of spring for me since they are usually blooming at a time when everything else is still brown and gray. 

*More time at home means more time to cook. And eat all the comfort foods. I do make healthy meals most of the time, but is there anything sunnier than lemon bars? 

*Over the past year of dealing with anxiety, I have found that music is something I really enjoy, that helps me stay calm. I love my Amazon Prime Music subscription and my Echo because I can play any music I want by simply saying, “Alexa, play (whatever it is I feel like listening to at the time).” Breezy Summer Classics is my current favorite station, and I listen to at some point every day.

*Even though it is not sandal season yet, I gave myself a pedicure and painted my toenails bright orange. I don’t typically paint my fingernails, but I painted them orange, too.

*On a trip to the store yesterday, I couldn’t resist these yellow and orange pansies. I don’t usually plant pansies because they aren’t heat tolerant. And I don’t usually plant flowers in March. But I figured if I am spending so much time at home, sitting and reading on my porch, I need some flowers to brighten things up. They look rather wimpy now, but hopefully they will soon be lush and vibrant.

*I always love watching the sunrise and sunset. I have a great view of the sunrise from my kitchen and the sunset from my front porch. Yesterday, the weather was fantastic—warm and breezy, even if it wasn’t sunny. I happened to glance out the front window and saw a glorious sunset. I grabbed a glass of wine, headed to the porch and sat watching it change for about 20 minutes. 

*Something else I saw on Instagram last week inspired me to do some chalk art on the cul de sac in front of my house. Let me tell ya—for this old, out of shape person, it was a great workout for my legs and butt. I plan on going out every couple of days to do new art, as long as it isn’t raining, but it might be a couple of days before I am able to walk again. It was so much fun.  

  

It’s been a scary week, and I fear it’s going to get scarier. This time last week, there were 271 deaths from COVID 19. Last night, there were 1,500+, and tonight, there are 135,000 cases in America with more than 2,400 deaths. I’m trying not to freak out, but I can’t help wondering how much worse it will be this time next week. Until then, I am going to do my best to stay calm when I can. I’m going to keep on looking for little moments of sunshine, even if they are scarce.