Dancing in the Rain take 6...

I really debated with myself if I wanted to share this blog with anyone. I have a friend who tells me that I way over think things, and I do. I wish that I didn't, but I can't seem to stop myself from doing it. One of many things I can't seem to stop myself from doing, but I won't go there!

I love to write, but it is way way WAY out of my comfort zone to put myself "out there." Ask my coworkers...whenever I have to write something for Share that in any way involves me and my feelings, I flounder. Give me facts to write about, and I can write till my fingers are cramped. Make me write about something personal or emotional, and it can take me days to write a few paragraphs. And the funny thing is that when I am writing something personal or emotional, I often try to scoot my way around it, and as soon as my boss reads it, she knows that's what I have done, and she will hand it back to me and tell me to keep working on it, that it's missing "something." And I always know what that something is. And unfortunately, the something is usually what I don't want to write about.

This really is going somewhere, I promise! Sometimes, it takes me a while to get to my point...hence the title of this blog.

So, for several days, I just couldn't decide if I wanted to let anyone read this blog. What finally helped me reach the decision to do it was knowing that I often come up with great ideas (or at least what I think are great ideas) and then I give up on whatever it is. I wisely thought that if I knew that people were reading, it would inspire me to continue trying to make the best of a sucky situation. Because while I do tend to give up on things, I don't necessarily want anyone to be a witness to my giving up.

I know it's only been a few days, but I'm glad I decided to share it and let others read it. Because I probably would have already given up by now. Yes, indeed...I would have given up on trying every day to dance in the rain. I don't like rain, and I really don't much like dancing. Actually, it's not that I don't like dancing, I'm just not very good at it. Dancing is one of those things I have always wanted to be good at. I'm going to embarrass myself here, so brace yourself. If you are reading this with a drink in your hand, put it down before continuing, or what you are drinking may end up on your computer screen, and then you'll be mad at me.


Are you ready for this?????




This is one of my deep, dark secrets that I have never told anyone before. Because I knew that whoever I told would laugh hysterically. I guess I'm safe here, though, because if you laugh until you pee your pants, I won't know it.








I have always secretly wanted to be like my old friend from high school...I won't say her name but a few of you reading this have met this friend and will probably immediately know who I am talking about. (I didn't invite her to read this blog by the way! LOL)I'll just call her Bertha. Bertha is and always has been a wild and crazy gal...the kind of person who really doesn't give a flying flip what anyone thinks of her. She has always been a "march to your own drummer" kind of person. She's loud, outgoing, attention getting...she probably has more friends than anyone I've ever known. She is the complete and total opposite of me in pretty much every way, and many times since we became friends at the age of 14, I have wondered exactly why we were friends, what drew us to each other. Bertha was also a partier. Maybe she still is, I don't really know because I don't see or talk to her much these days. I don't mean partier in a bad way, just in a makes her own kind of fun wherever she goes kind of way.

Are you wondering yet when I'm going to get to the part that's going to make you laugh? I'm getting there. Soon. Very soon. I promise.

In our younger days, Bertha loved going out to bars and nightclubs. And that girl can DANCE. Many times, she would clear the dance floor...you know, like a scene from a movie where everyone circles around one person who is really putting on a show and then claps when the song ends. A few years after high school, she even spent some time as a cheerleader for a St. Louis professional sports team. That's how good of a dancer she is/was. This has absolutely not one thing to do with the story I'm telling, but she also dated a member of the Busch family, as in Anhueser Busch. I know that has nothing to do with anything.

I always hated going out with Bertha and her friends, because pretty much all of them were just like her. And then there was little ol' me. Sitting like a wallflower while Bertha cleared dance floors and danced on the top of tables. Yep, she danced on top of tables. Even when she hadn't been drinking. I'm sure most people would look at someone dancing on top of a table in a nightclub and think something like, "Whoa! That chick's knocked back a few too many tonight!" Sometimes she did have a few too many, but that wasn't a pre requisite for her table dancing. She actually met the member of the Busch family in a club, but I have no idea if she was dancing on a table that night or not.

I guess by now you are really wondering when you're going to laugh, huh? Well, here it comes. Are you really good and ready now?


I have always secretly wished I was the kind of person who could dance on tables in nightclubs.


I had to set that sentence off by itself so it can really soak in for ya!


It's not that I really want to dance on a table in a bar, I just want to be that unihibited, that confident in myself...that stone cold sober, I could hop up on a table and dance without giving a rat's patootie what anyone thought about me. I've been to nightclubs with a couple of you, and you know that I am speaking the truth, aren't I??

But alas, we all know I am not, have never been, and never will BE a table dancer.

I don't think I'm cut out to be a rain dancer either.

Like I said already, I don't like rain much because it's depressing. I only like it in the heat of the summer when my lawn is wilting and thirsty. Or on days when I don't have anything else to do besides curl up on the couch with coffee and a book. I'm a sunshine gal all the way. And I've already explained in way too much detail how I feel about dancing. And I definately do not like storms. Some people do, and I'm not one of them. I used to love a good storm, and then two things happened. One, we lived in Nebraska/Iowa for a few years, and for those of you who don't know this already, I think those two states are the tornado capitals of the world. No, I guess that is Kansas. But Nebraska and Iowa are close. Two, when I was pregnant with Lauren, our house was struck by lightening late one night. So my love of a good storm no longer exists. They scare me. Not much scares me. I am a mom of 3 almost 4 teenagers for crying out loud. I can handle most anything. But storms turn me into a heart-pounding bundle of fear.

So you can imagine how I have been feeling the past few weeks. I'm a heart-pounding bundle of fear. And I really have been wishing that I wouldn't have taken on this "dance in the rain" thing. In fact, I'm really starting to think it was a dumb idea. Yesterday, I was on my way home from work, and I was stressed just thinking about my dance of the day. (That's what I have started calling it in my mind...my dance of the day. LOL) I don't want to dance in the rain because I don't want it to be raining.

I couldn't come up with anything yesterday. Nada. Zilch. I was exhausted. Mentally and physically. The only thing I could come up with for my gratitude journal yesterday was thank GOD I put dinner in the crock pot before I went to work! Because for once, I wasn't even in the mood to cook. Lame, I know.

But, today is a new day...for anyone who read this long awful thing, I thank you, and I hope you haven't poked your eyes out.

I was watching Today in St. Louis this morning, and they were doing a segment about a huge bookfair in St. Louis to benefit the YMCA that is going on until next Wednesday, and I'm going to go. Not today...it opens today, and it costs $10 to get in. I'm going to go tomorrow though because after today, it's free admission. And I am all about free these days. Hopefully, I will find some cheap books. I'll report back about that!

I will also be baking again today. Banana muffins and pumpkin muffins, if I can find pumpkin, to take to the people who are doing the Extreme Makeover Share Edition tomorrow.